Monday, June 2, 2003

The Desire to Be Productive

I am possessed with a desire to be productive. I can only conclude that this stems from being caged in my house for so many years. I love my house, I love it with all my heart, but I know it would do me good to get out more. Also, I cannot so easily fulfill my human need to be doing things. I am a hyper person as well and the sickness I have steals that away from me.

Even when I don’t feel well, if there’s a chance to go out and do something-I go. At home I get that sense of completion from writing a chapter or reading a book. So that’s what I do. I clean also and have started sewing a quilt. Most of my activities must be slow and quiet, not physically demanding. It gets extremely frustrating when I am too ill to do much of anything. And yet, day by day, I am growing and can feel it. And I am happy. I miss out, but I am happy. I would love not to miss out, though. Perhaps some day I shall not.

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