I feel icky. My stomach and (especially) my head hurt. Please, God, make it stop. If I am going through this suffering there has to be a reason. Why? I want to know why God has made me sickly. I suppose I’ll find out in time. I am tired. But I am writing and that makes me feel good. And I’m at home. I’m happy because what I’m doing makes God happy; its what He wants me to do.
What would I do without Jeannie? I mean, really. I would be just as lost as I would be without Harry Potter. I gave her Roses and Bones today. I hope she likes it. I got two books for teens from the Christian store today.
The world is so full of temptations. Its one big temptation. I should just stay home and at school and places like that where temptation is zip. Wait. What am I saying? There are different temptations that covetousness. Like peer pressures, and being mean. In other words, disobeying God. Oh man, I never want to disobey God and I can say that from the bottom of my heart.
Later…
Sorry, I had to go for a minute because Gin came in. I was closing my eyes just now and I think I could hear the Lord telling me to put my mind at rest and just relax. I kept trying to change positions, not because I was uncomfortable but because it’s a habit. And that voice said no, just relax. I am pretty sure it was the Lord and I felt such tenderness from Him and I feared nothing.
I thought I should write this down and I opened my eyes easy as pie and wrote. Okay, I’m still tired, but a bit better.
Anyway, I have no father here and I desperately need one. Here is the Lord, my real Father.
Things that are important to me, like writing, cannot be taken with me that I die, but hopefully they are read by the living and effect them in a positive way. Please, God, let this happen. You know what I miss? Rainy Sundays at church.
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