Remember the 3 AM Club? or Slave to the Drugs

Rayne wrote a blog last month about being awake at 3 AM. Well, here I am and it's 2:40 AM. Close enough, right? So now I will bore you with my story of how I ended up here on Blogger at this ungodly hour. Warning! Selfish, whiney rant to follow! Proceed at your own risk!

I went to bed early because I was tired and just didn't feel well. At midnight my alarm sounded and I had to get up and get my antibiotic out of the refrigerator. I was loathe to move from my bed at first because of how much my stomach hurt. Drugs were only a hands reach away, but in order to identify which pill to take I needed to turn on the light. Groaning, I did so and popped a Phenergan before fetching my antibiotic syringe and tubing from the fridge. Then I realized my migraine had returned, so I popped an Imitrex, too.

I waited about fifteen minutes instead of half an hour before starting the antibiotic. I just wanted to go back to bed. But of course, the minute I lie down I can't get comfortable, my body heat keeps changing and I can't seem to keep my eyes closed even though I feel like I want nothing more than to shut them. So much for that. Half an hour later, the antibiotic finished, I pop a Lorezapam because I just can't relax. So far, I know that all of these medications can be taken together safely, but I'm still a little skeptical. But really, what choice to I have? I mean, I guess I could lay around in misery and boredom until I'm weeping, exhausted. I'll take my chance with the drugs.

I read a book and make frequent trips to the restroom (that's what I get for eating half a meal. And they want me to gain weight...ha!) while I wait for the Lorezepam to take effect. No such luck. I consider taking an Ambien, but it's much too late for that if I'm going to wake up early and go get my blood drawn and see the doctor. Besides, Ambien and Phenergan are not supposed to go together. At least, that's what Rayne says. And she's right. Last time I took them together I had horrible hallucinatory (is that a word?) dreams.

At long last I decided to turn my computer back on and maybe get a little work done, or play a game. It's going to be hell again tomorrow so I might as well enjoy myself a little while I can, right? I mean, I have to get up in five hours to give myself my next dose of antibiotics and there won't be time for any migraines or stomach aches. Nope, I gotta go straight to the hospital and be a good patient, no matter how sick or sleep deprived I am.

You'd think seeing the doctor would help you on your way to recovery, but that's wrong. So is the assumption that IV antibiotics will help. Well, I suppose if you have a nurse who gives them to you then that's fine, but I can't have any more than 7.5 hours of peace at a time because of this blasted medicine. It's starting to wear me down. A teeny tiny part of me almost hopes I have to get surgery because then maybe I could sleep for a full ten hours! Geeze. Okay, that's an exaggeration, but you get my point.

The rats enjoy having me up anyway. What would I do without their eager, furry little faces when all else seems dark and sickly?

I think this entry goes in the notebook Rayne gave me for selfish rants.

Is anyone else up?

New Blogs

I eventually would like to get most of my old journals out up here. I probably only have half of all the journals I've ever written in my life actually typed out. It's a big project because I wrote in different notebooks and so, if I can't find one then I only have a few pieces of that time period to work with.

So, with that said, I've put up journals from 1999, 2003, and 2004. Other new blogs:

January 1st, 2006
January 5th, 2006
January 2nd, 2007
January 3rd, 2007
January 12th, 2007
January 14th, 2007

A note on 2003: I became a Christian. A really weird Christian. Please don't be freaked out. I was young, that's all I can say. I also had some pretty bad depression going on mainly due to a very large dose of Prednisone I was on. It makes me fat and very emotional. So, yeah, be nice and not judgemental.

Cue Flyleaf's Number One Hit

Okay, I guess most of my readers (here on Blogger anyway) are middle aged men and woman and they probably have no idea who Flyleaf is. Flyleaf is a band. Flyleaf is a really cool band and I like them very much. Sometimes, when I'm really not feeling well, their number one hit, "I'm So Sick" starts going through my head (much like "Everything Comes Down To Poo" from Scrubs goes through my head at the hospital a lot). Would anyone care to enlightened? Because I'm happy to post a music video for you.



Anyway, what I mean to say is, I'm so sick. Today has not been a good day. Yesterday wasn't all that great either, but yesterday didn't have me moaning like a baby. You know how when you have a really bad cold you feel like you have no choice but to moan to everyone you meet as if that will make it better? That's what I feel like today. Thank God for poor Rayne, huh? If she wasn't online to listen to me moan then my only other option would be to moan even more to you poor people in blogosphere or to moan to my Mom who has a cold right now and that's just wrong. You don't moan to someone who possibly feels as bad as you do. Unless it's a bonding thing, like where Rayne and I might talk about how each of us wants to eat breakfast but we're too nauseous.

There goes to alarm for me to take my antibiotic out of the refrigerator. We are allowed to let it sit for awhile so I don't get chill veins. Brr, I hate that. Either this antibiotics side effects are making me feel worse or I actually am worse and the antibiotic is not doing its job. If the latter is true then I'm off to Omaha for surgery. That's pretty much the last thing I want to do with my life right now. All I can say is they had better give me a private room. I will not, I repeat, will not go through the Andrea thing again. It's just not worth it.

In other news, we have a new rat! Her name is Annabel and we got her to be a younger playmate for Cupcake. They of course got on famously and Annabel has now joined the young group: Daisy, Lil' Staci and Cupcake. Cuppers is getting a nice taste of her own medicine having this younger rat around. Now someone is waking her up by jumping up and down on top of her.

I don't have any pictures taken yet, but you can see Annabel's old Petfinder profile here.

Well, I'm going to take some more narcotics and start getting ready to hook myself up to the IV pump. Maybe I'll think of something more cheerful to blog about and come back later.

Flickr Disappointed Me

I'm not paying to put my photos online. I'm sorry, I'm just not. So, as a free user, Flickr only gives me three albums. How am I supposed to function with that?! So, I'm back over at Photobucket now. Sure, it's not as aesthetically pleasing, but it gives me codes for the photos, cool editing options and as many albums as my heart desires. So there, Flickr.

Check it all out at http://s152.photobucket.com/albums/s182/cozyrat/

Albums are listed on the left.

**I just want to clarify that I will continue to use my Flickr account for some things and I do have some photos up there (Sister's photo shoot and old hospital pictures) that are not up on Photobucket.**

Home Again, Home Again

I'm home!!

After many failed (and painful tries) I had to go down to radiology to get my PICC line put in. I officially have the worst veins in the world. Even in radiology, with all their expertise and technology, it took the doctor quite a few tries to get there. I was wimp about it, I'll admit. Cried the whole time. But, now I have a new spiffy PICC line (in fun colors, not to mention) from which I can get blood drawn, recieve antibiotics and even get dye for CT scans. It does everything an IV does, only it lasts up to a month and I can come home with it. Tonight, someone from this home health care place is coming over to show us how to give the antibiotics. I've had to do this routine before with past PICC lines, so it should be a piece of cake.

Next Thursday I got back to see the infectious disease doctor and get another CT scan. Then we'll be able to see if the abcess is responding to the antibiotics. Today's CT showed no difference in the abcess. If the abcess appears to be improving next week, then we'll continue with them; if not, they'll probaby have to go in surgically to remove it and see what kind of infection it is. See, the problem is, since we can't drain the abcess, we have no idea what kind of fluid is in there, so the doctor is just treating me with a vert broad spectrum antibiotic that covers all the infections that are common to get at hospitals.

I also got my beeper today. This is the beeper that tells me what number to call when there's a liver available for me. Of course, right now I'm on hold since I have an infection, but everyone on the list has to carry one.

I think that's it.

Becca

A Visual Hospital Experience

I took some photos. Enjoy. There may be more coming up, so keep checking back. Oh yeah, just click the picture for the full set.

Day 2 In The Hospital

Here it is, my second day in the hospital.

• I got to take a lovely bath, which felt so good on my poor body.
• My mom finally got her cords right so now my laptop is charged up. This means I can surf the web and pester Rayne on MSN.
• The "magazine cart" came around and I got a paint by numbers kit, some copper etching paper with an etching tool, a kit to make some sort of embroidered thing, a teen magazine and an Oprah magazine for mom.
• Mom brought me a huge, beauftiful dragonfly ballon.
• I turned up my nose at the hospital food except for some oatmeal and some green beans.
• Rayne wrote a blog about me. :D
• I've seen three doctors and I'm waiting for the fourth to come in. I really hope it's my imagination, but no one has seemed very optimistic about the antibiotic route of treatment. If the antibiotics do end up working, they could take up to month, in which case I would get a PICC line, give myself the antibiotics at home, at come to the hospital for CT scans to check on the abcess.
• Kathy came to visit me anf brought flowers and a Good Mousekeeping magazine (a parody for cats).
• Mom and I walked down to the gift shop and she bought me a cool spider ring and showed me the black cat statues they had out for the Halloween display. I miss Velvet...
• I drank part of a Shirley Temple and it made me sick.
• I woke up at 6:30 and watched the sunrise. Then I watched baby delivery shows on Discovery Health.
• By the way, my abcess is the size of a tennis ball.

Thank you everyone for the awesome comments on my blog. Please do comment more! I never get comments!