This Is A Long One

I suppose I should start off this blog with a short update on my well being. With the exception of Monday morning, I have been doing remarkably well outside of the hospital. I am certainly in a lot of pain, even more so than usual, but I am determined to get some exercise both to ready myself for the transplant and to help my osteoporosis. This has kept me distracted from the pain and, although it means an extra dose of narcotics midday, I am happy for the accomplishment and sense of living it gives me.

Today I was very sore and tired, but I forced myself to do a few things. I must admit that when my Gramma called and asked if she could accompany me on a walk around the block I almost turned her down saying I needed to rest more today. However, my curiosity in the neighborhood gardens and the beautiful weather got the best of me and I accepted. You see, yesterday evening I was walking around our yard looking for some lingering flowers of summer. I found some, but I was still rather depressed by the lack of variety. I took a few clippings here and there, even a bit of my mother's blooming lavender (ssssh, don't tell) and made myself a rather pathetic little vase. I've been inside so much that I feel I've missed most of the beauties of summer.

My how I was satisfied today! Between our house and my Gramma's live our good family friends the Aikens (their daughter Becky and I were best friends in school). I was walking past their house on my way to Gramma's and saw Kathy stepping out the door. I invited her on our short walk and while she got her shoes I was able to admire her own little plants in the front yard. Then my Gramma had even more beauties, including a butterfly bush filled with butterflies. On our walk we even encountered a tree which had one branch that had turned to a fiery red. Many of the leaves had dropped on the ground and I picked a favorite to press between the pages of a book.

Now I will share a video I took of Annabel:


On to other things. There is much more to tell about my hospital stay in Omaha than my test results and how mean the doctors are to me (don't you notice that when a person is overweight their doctor treats the situation delicately but when they're underweight they feel they can lecture and bully them endlessly?). I don't know if I'll be able to tell it all, but I'll try and pull out some highlights from my memory and write them down. Let see...

My absolute favorite places to go were these: the chapel and the garden. I'd say I liked the chapel more than the garden, though, because the garden had a pond devoid of fish. If you're going to have a pond you need to have fish. It should be the law. Every time I looked in that pond I felt disappointed. The hospital has a great many beautiful gardens and the garden I frequented was on a rooftop, which tended to be chilly, but sunny.

The chapel was difficult the first time I visited. I went in through the side door which was very heavy and had a large piece of woodwork in the ground separating it from the hallway. This was very difficult to get an IV pole over, especially when you're trying to hold open a very heavy door. I later saw that the front doors to the chapel were automatic...

It's a very small chapel, but beautiful. That first time I was there the candle was lit to let us know the Eucharist was present. Unfortunately, it was locked up somewhere otherwise I would have had tasties. I did, however, find the holy water right away and anointed myself the best way I knew how: I painted a cross on my forehead. Next I found a plastic rosary in a sweet little bowl. It said the rosary was for chapel use only. It's too bad. Aren't Catholics always giving out plastic rosaries? I would have loved to have had it. Then I found a bunch of literature that bored me so I looked at the prayer list instead. I saw my name on there and remarked about it to my mother who said something to the effect of, "Yeah, duh, that's because I put it there." So I put down Rayne's name. Then I sat down to rest for awhile and read out loud from Revelation about the beasts because it made mom and I think of Velvet, my cat. Before we left I played "This little piggy" with the toes of a statue of Jesus healing the paralytic let down through the roof.

The second time I went was with my dad who is actually Catholic. I again anointed myself with the holy water and he informed me I was doing it all wrong. Then I remembered that making the cross on your forehead was what you did with the ashes on ash Wednesday. Oops. And someone had taken the rosary! How dare they!

I had two roommates while I was in the hospital. Constance came in at 3 AM my first night there. She was 89 years old and suffering from a bowel obstruction. I was kept awake while they asked her all their questions to admit her. The poor woman could barely think through the morphine but was still in so much pain I wanted to shout at them to get her something. Of course they couldn't until the doctor ordered it. I myself had had to wait three hours for pain medication when I'd gotten to the hospital. Thankfully, an hour or so later, they delivered the goods.

Constance was a sweet old lady, though I often felt frustrated listening to her conversations. She didn't understand things very quickly and had trouble hearing. Still, for an 89-year-old she did remarkably well. I painted her a picture of an orange day lily, but it got lost (so did some of my other paintings. Perhaps there was a botanical watercolor thief on the loose...). Her granddaughter and her daughter, Lily would would come to visit. Lily was just learning to talk and I would often lure her over to my side of the room with my abundance of balloons, stuffed animals and books. This gave Constance time to talk with her granddaughter for which she was very grateful for and thanked me for many times.

One time the phone rang in our room and I picked it up. It was Constance's granddaughter. The ring had woken Constance from her sleep and she picked up the phone when I told her her granddaughter was on the line. She had the hardest time getting her head on straight to talk because she had been sleeping so deeply and having morphine dreams. When she hung up she started telling me about it through the curtain the separated our beds.

"I can understand that," I said, "When I'm on all these drugs I often dream that I've done something and wake up thinking I've already done it. Or vice versa. It makes things so confusing."

"Yes!" she agreed.

When she talked to her doctor later she put her foot down on the morphine issue. She didn't like feeling confused and wanted a different drug. They were able to switch things around for her so she wouldn't have to have to much morphine and I heard her telling her granddaughter later, "I talked to Becca about it and she gave me the courage to bring it up with the doctor."

After I'd been in the hospital for about 5 days Constance was transferred to another ward. She wasn't a transplant patient and had only been placed in the transplant wing because of overflow. The change was very upsetting for her, but she was firm with the nurses and said, "I have to say goodbye to my roommate first." Little, tiny Constance with half her teeth missing and wearing her old floral dressing gown peeked around the corner of the curtain and said her goodbye.

Thirty minutes later I had a new roommate. Alicia was her name. She was soft spoken, in her 50s and accompanied by her mother and sister. She had just had abdominal surgery or some sort. Alicia was another nice, quiet roommate. We didn't talk often, though I think she talked more to my mom. I think we could have had some nice conversations if we both hadn't been feeling so crappy. Maybe I could have gotten to know her better if I had been there longer, but two days or so after Alicia became my roommate, I was discharged from the hospital. I didn't say goodbye-she was sleeping.

I'd better leave it at that for now. This is one long blog entry already.

I'm Home!

I'm home!!

My drain was hardly draining and I wasn't having anymore fevers. So the drain was pulled (that hurt) and I was given express instructions to gain weight, keep a food diary for a future appointment with the nutritioinists, do some physical therapy and try to wean myself off the narcotics as much as possible.

I had a happy reunion with the animals and now am enjoying my own pain medication, my own bed and recliner, and my large variety of books and magazines.

Becca

A glimpse into the rat reunion (from my post on the Capital City Rat Rescue forum):

Oh goodness, ya'll--You know my new rat Annabel? Well she's always been so hyper and is a little skittish. I figured she was in the baby stage where humans are ignored and toys and wheels are paid attention to. I didn't think she'd really bonded with any of us yet. I guess I thought wrong because I came home today and she was SO happy to see me! I took her out and she sat still in my hands while she bruxed and purred like a crazy girl! I was so happy and touched that she actually had missed me as much as I had missed her.

Daisy was really cute, too. She LOVES being petted and she I stood at the open door of the FN and she would put her front paws on my chest and sort of lean agaist me while I petted her.

I think the Bindi babies were really relieved to see me, too (which makes sense, since they don't like any other humans).

A Visual Hospital Experience

I took some photos. Enjoy. There may be more coming up, so keep checking back. Oh yeah, just click the picture for the full set.

Day 2 In The Hospital

Here it is, my second day in the hospital.

• I got to take a lovely bath, which felt so good on my poor body.
• My mom finally got her cords right so now my laptop is charged up. This means I can surf the web and pester Rayne on MSN.
• The "magazine cart" came around and I got a paint by numbers kit, some copper etching paper with an etching tool, a kit to make some sort of embroidered thing, a teen magazine and an Oprah magazine for mom.
• Mom brought me a huge, beauftiful dragonfly ballon.
• I turned up my nose at the hospital food except for some oatmeal and some green beans.
• Rayne wrote a blog about me. :D
• I've seen three doctors and I'm waiting for the fourth to come in. I really hope it's my imagination, but no one has seemed very optimistic about the antibiotic route of treatment. If the antibiotics do end up working, they could take up to month, in which case I would get a PICC line, give myself the antibiotics at home, at come to the hospital for CT scans to check on the abcess.
• Kathy came to visit me anf brought flowers and a Good Mousekeeping magazine (a parody for cats).
• Mom and I walked down to the gift shop and she bought me a cool spider ring and showed me the black cat statues they had out for the Halloween display. I miss Velvet...
• I drank part of a Shirley Temple and it made me sick.
• I woke up at 6:30 and watched the sunrise. Then I watched baby delivery shows on Discovery Health.
• By the way, my abcess is the size of a tennis ball.

Thank you everyone for the awesome comments on my blog. Please do comment more! I never get comments!

Still Alive

July 27th, 2008
Good news! The obstruction has gone away on its own! That means no surgery. It does mean, however, that the painful part is about to begin. Still, I may be allowed clear liquids tomorrow, which will be nice. I'll continue to stay in the hospital to be monitored and to keep my pain controlled.
Becca

July 29th,2008
Sorry I haven't been getting the updates out very often. Please don't freak out if you don't hear from me for a day or two. I'm just tired and in pain. It hurts to sit up for too long and I type really slow since I'm on drugs and there are medical devices all over my hands and fingers.
Yesterday I was moved to a clear liquid diet but had a bad day pain-wise.
Today I'm on soft foods which is going okay,but it's rather uncomfortable since they make me feel so full and they get things moving in my tummy. I had the brillant idea today of taking a shower during the half hour I couldn't have morphine. By the time I could have it again Iwas just about crying and it took me all day to reach a tolerable pain level again. I've also been itching myself so much due to the morphine that I've given myself a horrible scratch. They've been giving me benedryl for it, which totally knocks me out.
Tomorrow I'll get my tummy x-rayed to check up on things. My blood tests have been looking good.
Been getting very irritable with the hospital, but I suppose I've been in one hospital or another for almost 2 now.
Becca

July 30th, 2008
Mollie here. Becca is two weeks out on this project that was supposed to be outpatient surgery. Her belly is less like the sixth month of pregnancy and more like the ill-advised guys who mow shirtless. Instead of tattoos, she has purple blotches and peeling skin. These are all actually good things.
Stuff is moving through her system, and causing the same excruciating pain that brought us here. It's hard to believe that this is called progress, but she is bravely holding on and trying to go with oral pain meds and the occasional saving shot. This is part of the reason why I never watch movies that aren't G rated, and I don't go on carnival rides. Watching this is enough.
Her jaundice is contrasting ever so subtly with the fuschia and violet streaks in her black and brown hair, and is not really enhanced favorably by the hospital gowns which she sports in that oh-so-ghetto baggy fashion, but it's a look. The best part about taking little walks is when she can step outside and scratch her feet on the rough concrete.
The GI surgeon who has been following Becca says his job is done, since the partail bowel obstruction has marched off the xray radar screen, and the abdominal adhesions might also go their merry way while still in their formative stages. Pain is not his department, only tracking gas.
Dr. Cada, her gynecologist, is trying different potions to work with the pain issues. Now we know what lab rats feel like, or the proverbial guinea pig. It doesn't help that the food people ask her what she wants to eat, and then they give her exactly what she has requested to NOT have instead. The nurses are sometimes very helpful, and sometimes very invisible, and in the wee hours are downright wacky.
The incision sites are all healing nicely, but there is this strange spot on her stomach where she scratched an itch and it has been leaking blood.
If she were Julie Andrews, she would sing about these favorite things: cream of wheat, Boost drinks, foot rubs, narcotics, brushing hair, her comfy hospital bed, her afghan, her heating pad, ice chips, photos of her cats, silly balloons. little emails, and distracting visitors.
So maybe tonight will be a better night, and someday we will all party and sing hey nonny nonny again. Thank you for keeping us all in your thoughts. Mollie

I'm Not Dead

Not up to anything more than to copy and paste email health updates. This first one was written by my mom on July 18th:

This is Mollie, aka Becca's mom, with the medical news. Becca had surgery yesterday to laparoscopically remove ovarian cysts and any endometriosis that appeared. That went as planned, and areas where endometriosis was evident were cauterized. There was endometriosis on the bladder, and there were adhesions on the right cyst and bowel. Both ovaries were saved; icky stuff was not.

The resulting pain has been from the ovaries, the tiny incision sites, and pressure from the residual gas used to inflate the abdomen during surgery. She stayed overnight because of pain and lightheadedness, and because the extra oxygen was helpful.

This morning the doctor decided to keep her in the hospital for blood transfusions since her hemoglobin is low. She is also checking her clotting factor and looking at the abdomen for possible internal bleeding (CT scan or ultrasound). Becca just developed an area of swelling, so the doctor will be looking at that; oddly enough, the pressure and breathing problems have improved since the swelling has appeared. Becca's eye was irritated during surgery, but she has been using saline drops and an eye patch (wooden leg not included), and that has improved.
Now she basically feels like crap but she at last has a morphine pump. She feels like a human pincushion because she has had four blood tests just today, and an additional IV is being inserted to keep the morphine separate from the blood infusion (otherwise I suppose it would be an inconsistent sort of intravenous Bloody Mary).

The hospital needs electric heating pads, more spa-like amenities and little paper umbrellas, but otherwise is ok, especially in staffing and pink Coban. Natalie will be checking Becca's email for her. Cell phones are all on. Maybe tomorrow Becca will go home, and Velvet can get on with her life.

Written yesterday:

Hi everyone, it's Becca. The morphine isn't making me so sleepy today, so I'm gonna try and write out a better update for ya'll. An email was sent out by my mom on the 18th and then another one yesterday by my sister. Most of you have been updated between times because you've been calling and texting or getting the news from others. I know there are some, however, who haven't gotten any updates except these emails. I'll try and make things a little clearer with a time line. Keep in mind, this could all be so much more detailed, but I don't remember most of the details...If you have further questions, email them to me and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Even better, you can text or call either myself or my mom.

July 19th- I get surgery to correct the internal bleeding from my first surgery. This surgery was done using a "bikini" incision, an incision that runs about six inches horizontally, about 4 inches below my belly button. The surgery lasts about 2.5 hours and it was very hard to stop the bleeding. After surgery I was put in ICU where my condition wasn't looking so great. They decided to have me transported to UNMC in case any more bleeding went on (because it would need to be overseen by my liver doctors). I was transported via ambulance. Man, was that painful. Good thing I was half unconscious the whole time. I was admitted to the ICU at UNMC and watched there for the night.

July 20th- I was moved to a regular room in the hospital with the most horrid roommate ever. My mom complained because I'm not supposed to be sharing rooms with patients, much less be in a high-traffic area. It's part of being immune suppressed. The doctors didn't think it mattered. We didn't like any of the doctors at UNMC. They never really did anything to try and help me, they just tried to get me walking again after surgery. Anyway, I digress...

This also must have been the night that Gina came to visit me and I ended up having the worst pain ever, no matter how many times I pressed the morphine button. I was so glad she was there because I got no sympathy from the doctors. My mom left in the middle of playing in the pit orchestra for Music Man at Pinewood Bowl to come back to Omaha.

July 21st- I'm suffering from having to live with my extremely loud, gross, inconsiderate, 12-hour-TV-watching, redneck roommate. I have to be on oxygen constantly and can barely breathe from all the fluid in my lungs. My tummy is still puffed out as much as it was prior to the surgery on the 19th.

July 22nd-Rayne, her family and James, Gina and Aprille come and visit me. It was so cool to see everyone and they all brought me such cool presents. We all had to talk kinda loud, though, because my roommate was playing her soap opera with the volume at 100.

I also had a bowel movement for the first time since the 16th. Ever since that event, I begin to have more pain.

July 23rd- I get to come home in the afternoon! Despite still having some breathing problems and being in plenty of pain, I wanted away from those brainless doctors and my awful roommate. When I got home I was greeted a a wonderful recliner to live in given by the Tidballs, a snazzy walker, a grab arm and a shower chair. And you wouldn't believe the balloons I'd accumulated.
I slept until Gina came in the evening to clean rat cages and also ended up rearranging my room so that it all worked with the recliner. It was a good thing she was there, probably, because I kept having to super medicate myself because my pain was getting worse and worse. It felt something like it had to do with constipation, but I couldn't be sure since my whole tummy still hurt and was big enough for me to be 5 months pregnant.

July 24th- I spent the whole night in bathroom agony. I felt mildly improved in the morning and figured I'd be fine while my mom and sister went to the store. Apparently they got as far as the gas station when they got my tearful phone call that they needed to come home. I felt like I was having one of my episodes, only I'd been living with episode-esque pain (on a milder scale) for the past 5 days or so. My endurance was pretty much shot. Mom was able to find some more painkillers I could safely take with my other ones and gave me other things like extra stool-softener, muscle relaxers, etc. I was able to lightly fall asleep after about half and hour or so, but she woke me up not long after to say she'd talked to my gynecologist and we were to go to the ER at Bryan East and get a few tests done, get some morphine, and then I'd be admitted into a room.

It took a few hours for the morphine to really kick in, but boy was it nice when it did! I hadn't felt relief like that in days. While we were in the ER Staci, of all people, came in to visit! When we were headed out the door to go to Bryan East, Rayne had called and my mom told her what was going on. Apparently Rayne told Staci and Staci got her butt over to where we were.

I spent the night at the hospital enjoying a comfortable bed and morphine.

July 25th-I finally, for the first time in over a week, got to take a shower. Boy was that ever nice! I'd had sponge baths and I'd gotten to shave my legs during the short time I was home and someone had washed my hair in Omaha. But nothing beats a real shower.

I also got a CT scan which showed a partial bowel obstruction and possible abdominal adhesions. The bowel obstruction would explain some of my pain and my not being able to have a bowel movement. Some of the pain is from all the leftover blood and fluid in my belly being reabsorbed.

I was taken off food and liquids (I get adequate nutrition and hydration from my IV fluid) to give the obstruction a chance to right itself. It sounds like an obstruction is when a part of the bowel sort of folds over on itself. I had been complaining for a couple days of this feeling on the left side of my belly button (where the obstruction is) that I described as, "like a bit of some sort of organ rolling over on itself."

July 26th (today)- I had x-rays taken on my tummy today. They're going to continue to watch the obstruction today and tomorrow and keep me off food and liquids. Hopefully, the obstruction will smooth itself out. If it does not then on Monday I'll have to be transported to UNMC to be operated on there.

Totals for the past week and 2 days:
Number of blood products: 2 units blood, 2 bags platelets, 4 bags fresh frozen plasma.
Number of blood tests: Somewhere in the 30s. One day at Bryan I had 7 or 8 blood draws.
Number of IVs (not counting numerous failed pokes): Somewhere around 6.
The good news: I may be getting a PICC line!

Becca